Currently Gouging My Own Eyes Out

Unfortunately (or fortunately) I have more time on my hands now so I thought I'd take up this blog again. Not to mention the fact that I think that there's something that just needs to be said, so I figure I'm the one who'll say it: Summer 2012 tween television stinks to high heaven right now.

And I do mean stinks. Like a big ol' pile of money-making manure. iCarly is winding down, and thank goodness they've taken away Robbie's obnoxious puppet Rex on Victorious, which makes that show somewhat tolerable. But the new summer crop of Disney and Nickelodeon schlock is so bad that there's a huge group of rich adults somewhere in Hollywoodland who should be seriously ashamed of themselves.

I'm not even going to bother to review these individually. Shake it Up, Austin and Ally (shudder), Jessie (agh!), A.N.T. Farm and Pair of Kings on Disney, and How to Rock and Bucket & Skinner's Epic Adventures on Nickelodeon are all so bad they just don't deserve reviews. They deserve to be cancelled immediately and never rerun again. And I know it's not nice to say that some kids are bad actors, but some kids are bad actors. Some kids should just be regular kids, in school, playing video games or hanging out at the mall or the skate park. Not destined to be future has-beens with drug habits. There must be hundreds of kids who try out for each one of these roles, so how exactly some of them get picked to be in a television show is beyond me. (I'm not so cruel as to call out these "actors" individually, so I'll just keep quiet on that.)


Clearly, and as per usual, the Disney Channel still leads the pack on stinkeroos. (Seriously, both Nick and Disney should offer lifetime job counseling, drug counseling and therapy to all of these kids who are making them oceans of money. Otherwise, it's just obscene.)

Thankfully, a few shows out there, including Good Luck Charlie, Big Time Rush and Zeke and Luther still employ such innovative techniques as good writing, real comedy and in some cases, excellent acting. Maybe I'll single these out for good reviews later.

Equally thankfully, Wizards of Waverly Place has come to a merciful end. (Sometimes Disney does do good things!)

Right now, I'm trying to get the theme song to Pair of Kings out of my head, which is the only good thing about that show.